For atheists, Christmas music can feel like running a gauntlet of unsolicited sermons set to major chords. One minute you’re minding your business in a grocery store, the next you’re assaulted by a choir belting out “O Come All Ye Faithful” like they’re trying to convert us like the mormons I had to hose down to get off my property last week. It’s not that we hate the holidays—we just prefer our festivities without the theological guilt trips.
That’s why the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s A Charlie Brown Christmas is basically the atheist national anthem of December. It’s wintery, it’s jazzy, and best of all, it lets you enjoy the season without being strong-armed into spiritual enlightenment. The whole album sounds like it’s been marinated in wistfulness and then lightly sautéed in existential dread. Perfect!
“Christmas Time Is Here” doesn’t try to tell you what to believe; it simply whispers, “Hey, the holidays are weirdly sad sometimes, right?” And we, clutching our peppermint mochas and emotional baggage, say: yes, Vince. Yes they are. Meanwhile, “Skating” manages to be joyful and anxious at the same time—like trying to enjoy a holiday party while remembering you still haven’t bought any gifts.
What makes the Peanuts soundtrack so satisfying is that it captures the secular holiday experience better than any pop star in a Santa hat ever could. It understands that Christmas can be cozy, nostalgic, and a tiny bit depressing—all without dragging religion into the mix. Listening to it feels like sitting by a window, watching snow fall, and thinking, “Wow, this is beautiful, and also… what even is my life?”
Now Vince does throw in “Hark The Herald Angel Sings” but everything else about the album makes me feel so nice that I'm going to let that choir of angelic voices in just for that moment. I'm quite sure later in life Charlie Brown finally snaps and tells Lucy what a bitch she's been and he becomes an atheist. There's something so depressing about this record that is almost like it latches onto our childhood and says “Hey remember when you had hope that there really was a God guiding all people to be good and just." Remember when you easily saw through that facade at like the age of 7 but still enjoyed everything else about Xmas? I mean the gingerbread and egg nog alone. So atheists, remind your religious parents or cousins or whoever, you celebrate the Winter Solstice and Vince Guarladi at this time of the year as you quietly reflect on the state of things while sulking around enjoying the decorations as if you embody Charlie Brown hearing “Christmas Time Is Here”.
In short: Guaraldi gives us permission to enjoy Christmas on our own terms—no angels, no shepherds, just mood. And honestly? That’s the kind of holiday spirit atheists can get behind.
We'll be off for the Holidays, catch you in 2026!